Had a frankly atrocious evening yesterday. I’ve started feeling hopeless again in the face of the insurmountable obstacle of a lonely, isolated, nostalgic summer. In the worst possible sense of nostalgic. It was bad enough to relapse. It’s okay. It doesn’t mean I can’t try again.
After the terrible night, I went to my workshop and convinced someone there to watch Severance. The habit continues.
I also got a call from a job. It’s temporary, just weekends, doesn’t pay great but it’s certainly better than nothing. I’m scared it will get physically extenuating or that the hours will feel endless, either insurmountably difficult or boring. It’s not a disability-cert position so these are very real possibilities.
Lunch today was soy meatballs and leftover white bean soup with rice. Dinner today was lentil hamburger. Many legumes!
Re-watched Project Hail Mary with my flock. I did enjoy the whimsical parts a little more. The ending still could do with more moral and emotional open-woundedness. It just doesn’t feel earned. It’s still a really good movie.
We’re also replaying Disco Elysium. Media of all time, it never gets old, it never fails to make me weep and experience a fondness for humanity that is boundless and bittersweet.