2026-07-26
- I was too distracted with all the workplace stress to keep a close eye on granular progress, but I’ve been on testosterone for a little over three months. My voice has dropped noticeably to people whom I don’t talk to every day (I still don’t know how to project it from my chest), my body hair is denser (especially on my thighs and forearms), and I’m experiencing some bottom growth.
- I stopped taking my medication for a week. I skipped a couple of days when I was busy and then inertia had me sleepless, paranoid and dysfunctional. Ended up in hospital again, without much to say. They sedated me, therefore I could sleep, therefore I could recover enough to autonomously get medicated again.
- I spent a lot of hours during that strange week in an online community that shall not be recorded for posterity on this journal, for one of the media interests I have. The interactions I had there forced me to talk about my visual impairment to request assistance with accessing the materials that were shared. It made me realize I’m very uncomfortable acknowledging these needs in public spaces. I am forcing myself to write this down because this journal is retrospective tool and I’ll have to sit with it if I ever want to understand it.
- After resting and processing all the creative input I had during the past few months, I sat down to complete a project I’ve had gathering dust since September of last year: a Severance tarot deck. I’m proud to have undertaken the process of analyzing and curating these images, and I hope I’m in the headspace to use it soon.
- I’ve noticed a powerful urge to write poetry in myself these days. I am tired of writing about myself, though, I’m not that interesting. And my use of language is not polished enough to make something poignant right now.